me and my bro.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Adaptation.

Based on the song "Brick" by Ben Folds.  
   Can’t believe it’s only the day after Christmas. What horrible timing. I set my alarm for 6 a.m. and drag myself out of bed. I throw some clothes on in the dark. I’m numb. I head toward the couch where she is curled up. “Gracie, it’s time to go.” I whisper as I gently shake her awake. Her belly is already starting to swell. We’re actually going through with this. I’m feeling more alone than I ever have before. I have no choice. No one knows what we’re doing, where we’re going, or what’s going to happen.
   We get into the freezing car and drive to the dreaded clinic. They call her name at 7:30 and she leaves me alone once again. I can’t stand the silence so I pace around the parking lot wondering if there is some possible way to make this moment more bearable. I decide to buy her flowers. Roses, actually. They’re her favorite. “Gracie.” I cry to myself. “Can’t you see it’s not me you’re dying for?” She must feel so alone then she ever has before. I need to go back to her. She is wheeled into the waiting room. Tears are streaming down both of our faces. Tears of heartbreak, shame, and loneliness. The flowers are dull and worthless. I throw them away and walk up to Gracie. No words are exchanged but then again, none are needed. For a moment, we’re alone as we drive back to her apartment.
   As weeks go by, it’s apparent that she is not fine. Her parents have been calling. They know something is wrong and beg me to tell them the truth. I’m tired of lying. Gracie and I break down and the truth escapes. We messed up. An abortion shouldn’t have even been an option. It’s too late now.
   This is drowning me. She’s alone. I’m alone. Now I know it.